Over time I have come to love the rhythms of the liturgical year, bringing about a sense of excitement for each new phase. As I enter into Ash Wednesday this year, I am noticing my appreciation deepening as my attention is drawn to the gift of Lent and the intentional capacity it has as part of an on-going healing journey.

9 years ago my parish handed out copies of 33 Days to Morning Glory by Fr. Gaitley, MIC on Ash Wednesday, my introduction to the concept of Marian consecration. This year, I decided to begin reading Fr. Boniface Hicks, O.S.B.'s newest book The Fruit of Her Womb: 33-Day Preparation for Total Consecration to Jesus.

Each Marian consecration book has its own unique approach. A common phrase that comes to mind related to Marian consecration is being under her mantle. The underlying concept of Fr. Hicks' preparation is the more radical image of being in Mary's womb - a place of protection and provision, as well as total dependence.

He's Been Preparing Me

Books can be valuable at different points, but there's also those books that deeply resonate at specific points in our lives. As I began this morning, again and again I thought about how this book is a perfect fit for this season in my journey. It was connecting to different words, phrases, and concepts that have come up for me in prayer in recent years.

One of the reasons why this book has been resonating is based on the training and care that I have been receiving as a student in the Catholic Psych Model of Applied Personalism (CPMAP) certification program. I have been learning more about human formation, including how we are wounded and healed in relationship, providing a deeper understanding of how experiences have shaped me over time and the different parts that are at play in my everyday life.

That sets the stage well for how Fr. Hicks contextualizes our need for a nurturing relationship with Mary. He discusses the bigger picture of humanity, the consequences of Original Sin, and our relationship with God - our capacity to trust and rely on God based on how our experiences with others have shaped our perception. He talks about ruptures, those moments when others have broken our trust and how those experiences, when not healed, have the capacity to make it harder to trust.

In his own words, Fr. Hicks describes,

The principal consequences of Original Sin are a fearful grasping after independence and a repeated search for a security that is in our own control. In the beginning, however, God made us for relationship: first of all with Himself [...] and then also with each other [...] The problem is that living in relationship requires trust, and our trust has been broken over and over (p. 4).

He also said,

One of the consequences of Original Sin is that we have been tainted by a spirit of independence, self-sufficiency, and grasping at control. We need to see and understand this spirit so that we might recognize how Original Sin has invaded our thinking (p. 11).

Yes, yes, and yes, I thought as I read those words. Recent years have brought each of these tendencies to the surface for me. Of course there are scenarios where I can identify great growth; yet, there are also those other opportunities that push me enough out of my comfort zone and far enough into uncertainty that there is still much to explore and heal.

Fr. Hicks refers to salvation as an adventure with Mary as a great support to aid us in our journey, uniquely tailored for specifically what we need. He also weaves in scripture and words of popes and Saints. I can't wait to see the fruits that will unfold in the quiet mornings as I ponder the concepts.